Where do we begin?

Greetings in Love Sisters,

I’m trying to find a good starting place for our discourse.  The challenge for me is putting the knowledge on the table in a way that is digestible.  It can be overwhelming when everything is presented at once, or the information is all over the place.  For me, it was an organic journey; one discovery led to another.  This is my hope for all of my sisters.

With that being said, I must start somewhere.  There may or may not be a method to what gets posted, but at least after there is one, we will know where to go.  I also must trust that you will make your own discoveries and direct your own growth.  And that anything posted here is surface level material, and can be unearthed as much or as little as one pleases.

So, I have chosen to start in the area of Sacred Sex and Feminine Energy.  It’s appropriate as a starting place for us in particular, as motherhood is most notably the result of sex.  But in today’s society, especially in the western world, we have chosen to view sex as a dirty, taboo, and diseased act, and because of this mindset, sex has become those very things.  How can something that brings new life be viewed as distasteful?   We have to reevaluate and start with an acceptance of self, and even move away from the thinking that the only function of sex is reproduction.  When we can accept and open ourselves to the wonders outside of our physical bodies, then, and only then can we heal, embrace and uplift ourselves and one another as spiritual beings.

In the next couple of videos, you will be introduced to Auset Aswad and her take on the polygynous lifestyle.  However, I want to encourage you to focus on what she is saying about Sacred Sex and about the powers of Feminine Energy.  Please devote about 20 minutes (total) to watch both clips in their entirety, and try to focus on what things you are currently doing in your own relationships (with your man, and your sister-friends) to keep them sacred.  If you can’t apply any of the discourse to your current interactions with men or women, then perhaps it’s time to consider improving the health of those relationships and friendships.  Again, this is not only about monogamy (one spouse) or polygamy (two or more spouses), but rather empowering and strengthening our minds to maximize positive interactions and be the best we can be to each other, spiritually.

*Note: Auset mentions she is speaking to the men, but her words are very fitting for us as women.

On Sacred Sex

On Sweetness is Our Power (Feminine Energy)

Links of Interest

Tao of Sexology

Sacred Woman by Queen Afua

Auset Aswad on IMDb 

Please comment in love and truth,

A.K.S.

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13 Comments

  1. Natasha

     /  October 24, 2011

    not sure what to make of this….I agree that we need 2 stop fighting each other as a people and it has to start with us (the women). I also like how she approached the subject of polygamy, I never thought of the community building aspect of it. However, I was a little caught off guard with the implication that we should be complacent/accept it if our husband were to cheat because he “can’t” be with 1 woman. I would hope the man I marry is strong enough not to give into the ways of the flesh. Just as other women can fall in love with him, other men can fall in love with me but that does not give us the right to commit adultry. That doesn’t mean I would fight him either…he has 2 account for his actions on judgement day so I would just give it God. And if he wants to practice polygamy and I don’t, then he should be able to sacrifice this desire for his queen just as I have to sacrifice my desire to have multiple men. I’m sure there are many women that would love to have multiple men, men just have to learn to compromise and let those desires go for a spiritual and fulfilling relationship….which is not a bad trade-off.

    Reply
    • Natasha! I miss you! And I miss all of our discussions! Thanks for responding! (What were you doing up at 4:44 in the morning?)

      In response to your comments, I want to first bring to your attention that the focus of this entry was not about the virtue of monogamy vs. polygamy LOL! But I don’t want to ignore your statement (as it’s an obvious topic within the videos). However, I cannot speak for Auset, although I don’t think her message was to be complacent and accept that your man will cheat. I interpreted her take to mean that if your man is already “cheating”, you have a choice, and you should consider all options before you choose to let your dignity go down the drain (if that even applies to you). There are so many directions one can go when it comes to polygamy: primal instincts, religion, society, the fact that many men and (women!) are already leading polygamous lifestyles, but again, this is not the point. My choice to post this was to get us as sisters thinking beyond ourselves, because often what happens is we lose ourselves because we can’t understand why our relationships with men and women are so toxic. This is one take, not the only take, and the to me the greatest takeaway is knowing that we don’t have to live one way, the way society has dictated to us. We all know poly ain’t for everybody LOL! It takes a man in a certain mindset, and women in certain mindsets to make something like this work. The real discussion on Polygyny will come later 😉

      I love you sister! When are we going to talk?

      A.K.S.

      Reply
  2. Natasha

     /  October 24, 2011

    Yes Ash I know polygamy wasnt the primary focus of ur post, you say that in your introduction, but it was the most interesting part of the video to me. Perhaps that may be because I still dont really understand polygamy or may be the story about her sister really grabed my attention (because I hate to hear about a sister in pain because of a man’s foolish ways). But like I said , I like the way she approaches the topic because she does so from a different point of view. i get what your saying about posting this for women to take a look at themselves and understand where our relationships go wrong, but I guess I see it in a different light. Now when I see being in a relationship with a person (male or female) is bringing me down, I just simply remove myself from them. I no longer try to figure why things are happening the way they are or stick around hoping that if I work at it, things will change. Now I just see it as God telling me that I no longer need to be in their presence if I dont really have to. And since I have been governing myself that way, things have gotten much better and easier.

    Reply
  3. I’m glad you thought this was interesting:-)

    You and I are similar in that way; if we don’t like something, we change it. We have an understanding of something deeper at work (be it God or some other higher power). But for the women who don’t; the women who are lost and feel like there isn’t another option, what do they do?

    And honestly, the men have lots of work to do as well. Why do men choose to cheat as opposed to being honest about and communicating their desires? And if a man feels the urge to satisfy his thirst, then he’s completely on his own and won’t have support from the woman he loves? This is the very reason why they lie. They are damned if they tell the truth, and damned if they don’t. You mentioned something about sacrificing desires in your previous comment and I’m not sure if I understand the logic. If you are both feeling specific yearnings to be with another, what is the reason you are holding out? I’m not suggesting you go out and be with everyone your eyes meet, but if your love is overflowing, does that somehow mean your love for your husband or wife is any less?

    And what makes it okay to have multiple boyfriends or girlfriends when we are in our younger years, but not as older adults? I’m also not suggesting this is right either, but are we more capable or forgivable the younger we are? I think we are conditioned to believe that we are not supposed to love more than one person at a time, or that once we marry, we can’t or shouldn’t love another, and I’m not sure this is true or healthy (for everyone). Some people (such as myself) are quite capable of loving one man for a loooong time, but it makes me smile when I hear people say, “oooh, I’m a get it in until i’m married, and then be faithful after that!” LOL What? How? Why? I just don’t understand this thinking. The whole point of dating before marriage is to shop around for someone compatible and who you feel is a potential mate, but we often complicate this with irrational, carnal sex, but that’s another topic (hahaha). Animals are more intentional than we are sometimes! We find someone decent, then we decide, “uh, I’m okay on you” and we keep it moving. This thought process does not change after marriage (which is why so many people end up getting divorced!) They learn they no longer like the person they thought they could “love”. But unlike animals (without the ability to “reason”, we don’t work at it. We don’t communicate, we don’t express ourselves, we’re not honest, and we smother our urges to expand our love beyond ourselves and our mate. I guess what I am asking is, what is the difference in being monogamous (or not, let’s be real) after marriage, but playing games and being polygamous before?

    Reply
  4. Natasha

     /  October 25, 2011

    lol….I laugh because this is part of the reason I dont think I’m ready for marriage! At some point I can just wake up and say I want to date and care for more than one man again because my love for this one has dried out. But I must say that for now, my love for my partner is whats really keeping me in check and that is what I meant by sacrifice. I know that it would really hurt him if I were to be with other men (and I know this because I have spoken to him about having an open relationship ,and lets just say he wasnt’ having it) so I stay faithful. The interesting part is that if he was for an open relationship, I think eventually I would stop talking to the other men and just choose him. I am very capable of loving multiple men at 1 time but its something about him that says he deserves my undivided love and attention (atleast for now, I dont know what the future will bring). And to answer your question I think its all about the vows that two people take. I dont see anything wrong with polygamy [before marriage] as long as you and your partner have that understanding. Before Tony, I would let guys know that they are not the only 1 and will not be for some time. The men who were real would let me know whats up. What I couldn’t stand was those who were so selfish as to tell me that they want to practice monagomy when the truth was they wanted me to practice monogamy while they ran around practicing polygamy. And I guess thats why I responded so strongly to that portion of the video because I could relate with the pain her sister felt… only difference is I know how to deal with people now but it took me some time to get to this point.

    Reply
  5. Well…lol

    All very valid and honest experiences and feelings. In the end, it’s really up to the individuals in the relationship, and what they want, need, desire, and even put up with. To me, no one should need to “put up with” anything, because honesty and communication should be at the forefront. But we all know this doesn’t always happen…

    From my perspective, we put unnecessary and useless expectations and limitations on love. We also do a lot of thinking and feeling for our partners, without actually asking them how they feel or listening when they express their feelings. The truth is, there are plenty of fish in the sea, so if one isn’t connecting, treating you right, or being honest, then we the option to move on, knowing that love can always come back around or take shape in a new form!

    Reply
  6. Denise

     /  November 6, 2011

    I think this provides very valuable insight, and I have always liked the idea of sisterhood first. My question/problem with the featured video is that it seems to neglect the culture and context in which we actually exist. In America we do live in a patriarchy, where female sexuality is seen as promiscuous and male sexuality seen as natural. Clearly that’s a problem. The “step one” of knowing one’s self worth and becoming comfortable in sexuality is very important. My trouble comes when step two is still rooted in patriarchy.
    Polygyny from my understanding was a male with multiple wives. Polyamory on the other hand is multiple lovers of both sexes. I feel to create balance in a make dominated society, the solution could be found either in polyamory or polyandry for that matter with the woman having multiple spouses. My concern is that the solutions to sexual awakening seem to be a bit more “convenient” for the men, other than the need to be honest and ready to support that entire family.
    As an avid fan of “Big Love” 🙂 and former dancer with a Mormon coach, I feel like I got a glimpse into spiritual promise not quite realized. In order for balance to be maintained, it must first be created. I personally would not be able to subscribe to the notion that women need to be attached to any one man, for any reason. I’d much prefer to think that if we all took on that super spirit of community, it would be a greater step towards the progress of male female relationships and awareness.

    Reply
    • Denise, thank you so much for your comment(s)! I think they are all very valid and realistic to the current times. I want to address of few of your concerns, and also let you know that there will be a post all about Polyamory very soon (since that seems to be the fascination with this posting lol).

      1.) Auset is a horse of a radiant color. The context in which she speaks is predicated on a communal culture, as she represents the divine Ancient Kemetic Principles (as well as other ancient wisdom). So know that while she is speaking to the masses (and anyone who cares to listen), the first and foremost goal is what you bring up: CommUNITY.
      2.) Without sisterhood, there is no community. Women have historically ALWAYS been the glue for society. If we wish to get to a place of empowerment for all of our people, we are sisters must first come together and decide this WILL happen. For whatever reasons (as varied as they are) we as woman have decided that instead of uplifting each other, we are more interested in self gain, and unfortunately that is a huge part of why our current communities are dismantled.
      3.) Polygamy in a religious context is difficult. Religion in itself is simply a list of rules and guidelines by which society is dictated. So when you base polygamy on religious principles, it usually works in favor of the man. Think of Christianity, Mormonism, Islam for example. All give control and honor to the man, and untouched, chaste women.
      4.) There are so many benefits to polygyny specifically that most women overlook (and this isn’t surprising because like I mentioned earlier, the context by which we view polygamy is usually from a very religious/patriarchal standpoint). True polygyny is actually a matriarchal practice! I will cover this thinking in the upcoming Poly post!
      5.) In my personal opinion, putting multiple men together in the same household and calling it polyamory is a recipe for disaster. That is the current catastrophe taking place in our societies! Multiple men are running the show. Women are emotional, compassionate, and nurturing by nature. We unlearn these qualities when we are programmed by society and made to survive and/or defend ourselves. That is not to say that women can’t relearn these things and shouldn’t love more than one man. But our bodies, minds, spirits really make it so that we exist more harmoniously when there is more feminine energy, not the other way around. And the feminine order typically chooses to be with one male at a time–serial monogamy– and this is true for humans, and other living things.

      In general, Polygyny as I see it is a great way to improve community and balance. But as a practice for the mainstream, it’s not feasible (or legal) at this point. Our minds are poisoned, families broken, and both men and women need to reevaluate their spiritual insides. Non-Religious Polygyny is not a doctrine that holds the woman in captivity. In many ways, the women are at the center, and most certainly the glue! We are the necessary ingredient for true leadership from our King. None of us can succeed if there isn’t balance. But there is a reason why we call Nature “Mother”.

      Look for a blog post very soon! In the meantime, continue to share your insight!

      Love,
      A.K.S

      Reply
  7. P.S. Denise, to address your points on Sexuality and Promiscuity, you should definitely check out the other two posts in the Sensual Sexuality section of the blog (Self-Awareness and This May Ruffle Some Feathers)!

    Reply
  8. ~I just really love this. I find it interesting that many of the ideas portrayed in video 1 support many long held beliefs of mine. Especially the excerpt/comparison of male ejaculate being like oil in a lamp. You know the kind of beliefs that you guard so closely that you dare not utter or make mention of to anyone who lacks capacity to even remotely understand or appreciate them.
    ~Solid advice that men should just stop talking about it…..”Just stay out of it…just release…” I also agree that many of the issues that plague humanity are direct results of an under appreciation and exclusion of feminine energy and balance particularly in power. The title caught my third eye on FB….and I feel enlightened. Great Post!

    Reply
    • Constance,

      Wow! I am overjoyed that this post spoke to your third eye! Your sentiments regarding understanding is so crucial, as the very existence of this blog was a decision I made to release, knowing that there was a possibility that understanding and appreciation may not have stemmed, and my own reputation as a woman threatened. But what is reputation? It’s the very thing that others define you as, especially when you don’t fit neatly into society’s box. I’m stepping all the way out:-)

      The thing that spoke to my third eye one day was the idea of sitting on one’s wealth, and to me, this translated as the reality that I had been hiding and harboring wisdom. When I first heard Auset’s words, it truly resonated with me! And like you, it was as if she was saying the very things I held deep within myself, but wasn’t sure how or if I even wanted to express. Months passed and little by little I was shedding layers. I had friends, close friends, question my spirit as if I had somehow lost myself because of new understandings. It hurt, and at first I was defensive and wounded. But when I finally understood the concept of getting “up off” one’s wealth, I knew exactly what I had to do. The choice to speak on it, the birth of this blog, and the decision to start with this post in particular (Auset’s powerful call to action for sisters), has me at the most vulnerable and honest position I think I’ve ever been. And now that it’s out there, there’s no turning back!

      Thanks for riding sister; please continue to share your insight!

      Love,

      A.K.S.

      Reply
      • See, I love that! I think (almost) anything that encourages someone to move themselves forward and feel free to reveal their current true person is awesome! (I also believe that we are allowed to have our beliefs evolve and grow in different directions throughout our lifecycle). In her first video, a lot of what Auset said did REALLY resonate with me as well while I was listening at 6 am 🙂 I have always felt that energy release/capture. It’s so interesting that I know I was experiencing the good and bad side of that. I really love the concept of being united in health as well, because I have seen that play out negatively as well when people feel the need to hide things (emotionally, promoscuity, cheating on diets, lol).
        So in all, I personally am open to people taking different paths to the same ultimate goal of freedom and happiness in life. That being said, I can also understand reactions of friends and loved ones, because a) people don’t know what to do with change and b) friends and loved ones usually just want to make sure you’re safe.
        I have more thoughts on other aspects, but I’ll hit up your other posts.
        I’m a fan though!! You inspire me 🙂

        **PS that’s been on my heart for the longest. I have a list of people that really are inspirational to my life and I never say it! But now you’re one I can check off 🙂

  9. Aww, Denise that means a lot to me! You are absolutely correct in that loved ones want to be sure you are safe, and aren’t always open to change. I knew this, and yet in actuality it was kind of hard! it wasn’t always stars and hearts that’s for sure! But I’m blessed in that the woman who means the world to me, my mother, is my biggest supporter, not my toughest critic. So therefore everyone else will fall into place accordingly, which may mean on the other end of the spectrum in some cases lol!

    You point out something so critical- Health! I think that aspect is huge! Auset did an amazing job of capturing the importance of synchronized spirits, bodies and fluids, and how all what you mentioned (diet, sex, mindset) play into it! Those things are at the top of my list in terms of healthy, sacred sex, and the cool thing is it’s no chore! It’s actually fun/enlightening to have/get your body, mind, and spirit in order!

    I’d love to hear from you more and on other posts. I’m happy you’ve found some things that stand out for you, and if nothing more, gives you inspiration to move forward as YOU see fit:-)

    Reply

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